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4/02/2011

111. Looking ahead

It's a new month, and with every new day comes new opportunities. After a brief yet striking conversation I had yesterday, I am once again in deep thought about what lies ahead. Yes, I like musing about future prospects and pretty much everything future-related, but what is it that I really want to do with my life, my career? It's been five to six years now since I made a personal decision to pursue art - and yes, my passion for it is not lost. However, with my years in university waning (I still can't believe I'm almost at the halfway mark), I am in a position where choosing a path has become a matter of urgency. At this point, all I know is my love lies with the film industry, but which aspect of it I want to engage in is still a blur to me. Being the only member of my entire family (including my extended family) studying art, I guess you could say I don't have anyone to guide me - anyone to go to should I need to ask for advice about these things. My friends and classmates can only provide so much; after all, we're all walking the same road - a road that is both converging and diverging. I, personally, spend a lot of my time dabbling in this and that. What can I say? Creativity and the potential that lies within it scintillates me. I dabble in anything that allows me to explore, to create, to imagine - to dream. But the time to make a choice is approaching, and I am nowhere near making a decision. Is it true what people say, that university gives everyone a chance to find himself, to grow and mature as he learns to grapple with life? That's what university is for me right now, and at this moment all I want to do is figure life out - figure myself out.

I'm nineteen, determined (albeit a little bit lost) and filled to the brim with a God-given passion for the arts. Perhaps, the reason why I always feel like there is so much that my school isn't providing for me, is because there is much that I have to do myself. And isn't that why I started this blog in the first place? I constantly thirst for knowledge - and I hope that I can make use of the time I have (this summer, especially) to finally find my footing and take the first step towards a future that I can call mine.

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